Dine and Dash, Fast Food and Express Eating - The Alliterary American Fallacy

There is a plague in this country and I'd like to say it's growing, but I'm almost certain it's already matured. People no longer have meals so socialize, but instead go out and eat as a precursor to whatever event it is they plan to end up going to. Gone are the days when friends or family would go out for an evening meal AS an activity. We see it everywhere. Drive-thrus. Fast food. Carry-out. You may ask: "Mike, why are you so worked up about all this?" Well, I'll tell you.

You see, meals are much more than just food. They are the means by which we really have an opportunity to communicate openly and in a friendly environment. Now, I am not opposing restaurants in general. In fact, I am a huge proponent of going out to eat. The problem arises when one's idea of "going out" entails going to McDonald's and hitting the drive-thru. There's nothing wrong with the novelty of the drive-thru, but when it becomes the rule, something's gone awry. As First Lady Michelle Obama stated, "The problem is when [fast food] becomes the habit. And I think that's what happened in our culture. Fast food has become the everyday meal."

Oftentimes, restaurants rush us right out the door as soon as it looks like we're finished, which really gets on my nerves. If you go to a foreign country - say, France, for example - you practically have to hunt the waiter down when you want your check, they don't shove it down your throat along with the last bite of your meal.

In retrospect, the best meals I've ever enjoyed shared the company of others, whether close friends or new acquaintances. In addition, the vast majority of them lasted at the very least 45 minutes, but usually an hour. The conclusion I've come to on why these meals end up becoming a memorable social experience is that you are all in one place and no one leaves until everyone is finished eating. (Of course, one COULD leave, but let's face it, that's pretty rude.) This necessitates conversation and after a certain length of time, all the petty, surface-scratching questions have been asked and answered and pre-meditated anecdotes have been recited. This forces everyone to start actually thinking about those around them and trying to find common ground to stand on and discuss for the duration of the meal. This is when meals change from food to and absolute social outpouring.

Let me issue a challenge; an experiment, if you will. Next time you go to eat a meal with someone, try these three tricks to extend the duration of the meal and see if the conversation doesn't end up being more robust by the time you leave the table.


1. When you know what you want to order, tell the waiter you still need a few minutes. This is a great time to get a lot of the shallow talk out of the way.
2. Eat slowly. I don't care if you're a fast eater; consciously make an effort to eat slowly. I promise no one will complain. What you'll find is that, with practice, you'll replace eating time with conversation time and you will naturally eat slower.
3. When the meal is over and the waiter brings the receipts back from your bill, ask for a refill on your drink. When it arrives, drink it slowly until it's gone. This is where most of my best conversations have happened.


Understand, I'm not a zealot. When you don't have time for a long meal, you don't. I get that. What I am suggesting is that we stop avoiding what could be the most enriching conversations of our lives by copping out and going to the drive-thru for dinner when we have a feasible opportunity to sit down and share a meal. If you must have that Happy Meal or Whopper, eat in.

You'll get more soda for your money, anyway.


Mike


Stay Young, Go Dancing - Death Cab For Cutie

Aretha Would Agree

Being around friends is such a wonderful thing. The past week especially has been really great because I've been able to spend some good quality time with some good quality people.

I think the reason it's so great to be around people who are close friends is that you don't feel like you'll be judged for what you do or say (even if you say something stupid.) In a conversation with one of these friends, she and I discussed what makes a person eligible for a good relationship, whether a friendship or more. We determined that it comes down to two main things: trust and respect. These two characteristics combined more or less equal love. Think about it; when you love someone and they do something that seems to be bad, because you trust and respect them, you'll defend them - even to other people.

The part where relationships collapse is when one of the people does something bad enough to exceed the level of trust or respect that the other person had for them. The relationship also can be strained when one person doesn't show or have the same amount of trust and respect the other has for them.

In the ideal situations, one would make a concious effort to keep the trust and respect of the other person in the relationship. Things start falling apart when one person stops caring, puts less into the relationship and knowingly violates the trust and respect of their friend or significant other.

The point is this: love is caring more about someone else than yourself. Of course this doesn't mean denying yourself of the necessities of life in order to make someone else happy, but it does mean that mutual trust and respect causes each person to seek and be concerned for the others' well-being.

We all have friends who care about us and whom we care much about. Those are the people who I've been lucky enough to spend time with this past week.

I think we just need to start thinking about and serving others more; therein lies happiness. The scriptures tell us that "when [we] are in the service of our fellow beings, [we] are only in the service of [our] God." Let's love our God by loving our neighbor.

Who knows, maybe you'll even make a few friends along the way.

- Mike

Basic Tiny Fragments - Action Action

Neptunalia

The beach.

Something about those two words stirs in us something different. Something that's both excited and relaxed; it's unlike any other place, really. It means something different for each person, and yet is a common denominator in the way it makes us feel younger, happier and at peace. All of this, of course, depends largely upon where you choose to visit the shoreline.

Some choose to make a day visit to crowded, tourist-ridden areas where children play in the shallows and adults fraternize in the surf. Towels spot the sand like a near-completed abstract puzzle, containing colors, patterns and occasionally, a picture of Elvis. The noise of hundreds of cheerful voices fill the air, along with the cacophony of reggae, ska and, at times, country music.

Then, there are those who decide to attend the coast with a select few of their closest friends, renting a beach house for a modest fare. These can be found lounging around the porch, on that same consistent spot on the beach or dining at a local gem of a dive many have yet to experience. Typically, they strive to choose the less-crowded areas of the beach, though the company of others is a welcome sight as they travel from the house to the sand.

There are others, still, who prefer the shore for it's highest calling: an isolated strip that serves as the antidote to the pangs that accompany the everyday ailments of life. A place of calm and of comfort. Of familiarity, even if it's the first time. The shore begs for, almost requires, introspection and deep thought. Standing in the sands that have been beaten around in the ocean for millenia and finally found a resting place, one can stare out into the vast plains of water and wonder who might be doing the same on an opposing shore. In truth, although language, currencies and cultures may be different, every soul yearns for the ocean. They just may not know it yet.

And so we stare, and wonder.


- Mike


Temazcal - Monsters of Folk