Dine and Dash, Fast Food and Express Eating - The Alliterary American Fallacy

There is a plague in this country and I'd like to say it's growing, but I'm almost certain it's already matured. People no longer have meals so socialize, but instead go out and eat as a precursor to whatever event it is they plan to end up going to. Gone are the days when friends or family would go out for an evening meal AS an activity. We see it everywhere. Drive-thrus. Fast food. Carry-out. You may ask: "Mike, why are you so worked up about all this?" Well, I'll tell you.

You see, meals are much more than just food. They are the means by which we really have an opportunity to communicate openly and in a friendly environment. Now, I am not opposing restaurants in general. In fact, I am a huge proponent of going out to eat. The problem arises when one's idea of "going out" entails going to McDonald's and hitting the drive-thru. There's nothing wrong with the novelty of the drive-thru, but when it becomes the rule, something's gone awry. As First Lady Michelle Obama stated, "The problem is when [fast food] becomes the habit. And I think that's what happened in our culture. Fast food has become the everyday meal."

Oftentimes, restaurants rush us right out the door as soon as it looks like we're finished, which really gets on my nerves. If you go to a foreign country - say, France, for example - you practically have to hunt the waiter down when you want your check, they don't shove it down your throat along with the last bite of your meal.

In retrospect, the best meals I've ever enjoyed shared the company of others, whether close friends or new acquaintances. In addition, the vast majority of them lasted at the very least 45 minutes, but usually an hour. The conclusion I've come to on why these meals end up becoming a memorable social experience is that you are all in one place and no one leaves until everyone is finished eating. (Of course, one COULD leave, but let's face it, that's pretty rude.) This necessitates conversation and after a certain length of time, all the petty, surface-scratching questions have been asked and answered and pre-meditated anecdotes have been recited. This forces everyone to start actually thinking about those around them and trying to find common ground to stand on and discuss for the duration of the meal. This is when meals change from food to and absolute social outpouring.

Let me issue a challenge; an experiment, if you will. Next time you go to eat a meal with someone, try these three tricks to extend the duration of the meal and see if the conversation doesn't end up being more robust by the time you leave the table.


1. When you know what you want to order, tell the waiter you still need a few minutes. This is a great time to get a lot of the shallow talk out of the way.
2. Eat slowly. I don't care if you're a fast eater; consciously make an effort to eat slowly. I promise no one will complain. What you'll find is that, with practice, you'll replace eating time with conversation time and you will naturally eat slower.
3. When the meal is over and the waiter brings the receipts back from your bill, ask for a refill on your drink. When it arrives, drink it slowly until it's gone. This is where most of my best conversations have happened.


Understand, I'm not a zealot. When you don't have time for a long meal, you don't. I get that. What I am suggesting is that we stop avoiding what could be the most enriching conversations of our lives by copping out and going to the drive-thru for dinner when we have a feasible opportunity to sit down and share a meal. If you must have that Happy Meal or Whopper, eat in.

You'll get more soda for your money, anyway.


Mike


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